Just an hour ago, I was on Sojourner Truth with Margaret Prescod, a radio show that my mother hosts on Pacifica-affiliated KPFK, which serves southern California. She was doing a youth roundtable that focused on education, so she asked me to join in and talk about the experiences of women of color in science.

You can listen to an archive of the show by downloading an mp3. I was part of a lively group of engaged people, and it was a real pleasure to hear what everyone had to say.

Now it’s possible that some of the people reading this are people who heard about this blog on the show. If you’re looking for more information on women of color in science, let me point you in a few handy directions:

Check out the National Society of Black Physicists and the National Society of Hispanic Physicists websites. Also there is an NSBP Blog, Vector.

There is also the Women in Astronomy Conference, which took place last year.

Next year, South Africa will be hosting the International Conference on Women in Physics.

If you’re looking for statistics: Webcaspar will allow you to create custom tables with the data you are looking for. For example, you can make a table that lists the numbers for women earning PhDs in astronomy by race between 1975-2006. The American Institute of Physics also has some useful numbers.

The powerpoint presentations from the TERC/NSF Mini-Symposium on Women of Color in Science are also quite interesting.

Feel free to post requests in the comments!

This is such terrible news. I’m too torn up to say much about this, but I wanted to let readers know in case they were considering my appeal for donations. I am pleased to say that they had managed to raise over $100K via donations through the website alone.

Jaime, estamos llorando para ti. But we will never forget: WE MUST HAVE GANAS!

Jaime Escalante

UPDATE: Just days after I posted this call for help, Sr. Escalante passed away. It is a tremendous loss.

Dear Readers,

Maybe you don’t know who Jaime Escalante is or why I want you to donate money to his cancer battle fund, so let me tell you a little bit about who he is and what he has meant to me.

Sure you can read all about him on Wikipedia, but I want to give you my personal perspective. Jaime Escalante is a retired math teacher. But not just any retired math teacher. He is the math teacher who shook up education, America and perspectives on race and class by teaching Calculus for the first time at Garfield High School in East Los Angeles. He made national headlines in 1982 when 18 of his students, all of whom were Chicano/Latino, passed the Advanced Placement exam (score of 3 or higher) and the Educational Testing Service challenged the test results. In 1983, almost double the number passed, and by 1987, over 70 students were passing the AP Calc AB exam and students had begun to pass the BC exam.

Not too long after that a book was released highlighting Escalante’s success, and the movie Stand and Deliver was released, starring another East LA hero as Escalante, Edward James Olmos. (Some of you may be more familiar with Olmos from Battlestar Galactica or my facebook photos.)

The year Stand and Deliver was released, I turned six, I lost my grandfather/best friend to cancer, and I had just entered public school for the first time and discovered a youthful interest in mathematics. (I came home one day demanding that my father teach me times tables.) So, now let me tell you why Jaime Escalante matters to me. Because of him, right as I learned about what math was, I learned another important lesson: that kids from East LA, kids like me, could do math. And not only could we do the basic stuff (like times tables), but we could do some fancy stuff called Calculus too. At age six, I had heard of calculus, and I knew that I should never let anyone tell me I can’t do it.

That lesson stayed with me 8 years later when I was one of six students to earn a passing grade on the AP Calc AB exam. And it was still with me the year following when, after a year of independent study, I earned a passing grade on the AP Calculus BC exam. It was with me every time my AP US History Teacher Mr. Rutschman reminded us of Escalante’s signature quote: YOU MUST HAVE GANAS! (Ganas means something like “the will to succeed.”) And it stayed with me when I proudly took my SAT I and II exams at Garfield High School.

When I think about how I have gotten to where I am, I think of the Nigerian Igbo proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child.” In my case, Escalante, whom I have never met, is a member of my village. He is a piece of the story. So he’s a big deal to me.

And that is why I am asking you to consider donating whatever you can, whether it’s $1 or $50, to Escalante’s cancer fund. As Edward James Olmos says,

He is seriously ill, and the treatment he needs has depleted all the funds his family can raise. They did not want to ask for help, but we took it upon ourselves to get the word out to all the country and around the world, to make his final days as comfortable as possible — and maybe even give him a chance to beat the cancer that has afflicted him. I . . . am calling for a last National Understanding of his selfless contributions to making a difference in this world.

Indeed. Escalante is not just an ordinary man: he is a local hero and, as they called him over at La Bloga, a Chicano national treasure who transformed our world for the better. If he is to die, we owe him the thanks of comfort in his final days. And, perhaps more importantly, we owe him the fighting chance at life that he gave to so many students in East L.A.

Thanks in advance for your donations!

p.s. As an addendum, I want to be clear that while many teachers never gain the fame and recognition that Jaime Escalante did, I absolutely believe that every teacher has made a tremendous impact. So I hope it’s clear that I’m not at all trying to belittle their contributions by trumpeting Escalante’s.

Shirley Ann Jackson, First Black Woman PhD in Physics at MIT

In honor of Ada Lovelace Day, an international day of blogging to celebrate the achievements of women in science and technology, I have decided to highlight a group very close to my heart: Black women in physics and astronomy.

Individual Successes

Willie Hobbs Moore was the first African-American woman to earn a PhD in physics, which she received in 1972 from the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor. Rennsalaer Polytechnic Institute President Shirley Ann Jackson went on to become the second the following year at MIT. (More about her.) Since then, there have been just under 60. The most comprehensive list is maintained by the National Society of Black Physicists, although unfortunately the last time it was officially updated was in early 2008. Since that time, Dr. Teri Robinson has earned her degree in experimental physical chemistry at historically Black university, Jackson State. And in a few months, my name can be added to the list, too!

To learn more about the experience of Black women in physics, you can read about the first Black woman to earn a PhD in physics from University of Colorado at Boulder, which was just in 2007.

You can also read about rising stars on the NSBP Blog, Vector.

A Successful Institution

Spelman College, the historically Black women’s college in Atlanta, Georgia, graduates four degrees in physics every year. Spelman College is also the number 2 producer of Black bachelor degree holders in Science and Engineering who go on to PhDs. In fact, the top 8 universities in this list are all Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs). It is clear that in 2010, HBCUs continue to play an important role in breaking down barriers for Black women and men in academia and higher education.

Final Thoughts

The numbers are outrageously low for all people of African descent in physics, but particularly for women. On average only 1 or 2 PhDs in physics or astronomy in the US per year go to Black women. By comparison, there were 653 PhDs in physics awarded in 2007 to US Citizens. 572 (87%) of went to white Americans, 36 (6%) went to Asian Americans, 13 (2%) to Black Americans (with 1 woman), and 13 (2%) to Hispanic Americans (with 1 or 2 women).

By the way, it’s actually quite hard to get numbers that are broken down along gender AND race lines. I am currently involved in pushing for a change in the accounting, but it’s been kind of an uphill battle. Getting the white the folks who control most of the data-gathering to understand that yes, Black women want to be counted, even if our anonymity has been compromised, has been surprisingly hard!

On a personal note, I’m tired. I’m tired of being the only woman in the room. I’m tired of being the only Black person in the building. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve called my mother in tears, telling her how tired I am of having to deal with the fall out of being the only one. From the racist comments to the ignorant comments to the loneliness, it’s not fun.

If you’re interested in learning more about what you can do to improve the situation for me, and others like me, please check out my guest post on Diversity in Science at Cosmic Variance where you’ll also find lively discussion in the comments section. And remember, when I finish my PhD this year, it’s not just a personal victory for me. It’s a proud moment for an entire community, and I’m thrilled about that!!!

Ada Lovelace Day is an international day of blogging (videologging, podcasting, comic drawing etc.!) to draw attention to the achievements of women in technology and science.

Sign up here:

Finding Ada.

I think too often we are desensitized to the crazy shit humans do. Or we think too small scale. But it’s important to acknowledge, confront, and take responsibility for the INCREDIBLY INSANE stuff that humans do. And more specifically, the horrid ideas that Governments promote in the name of peace, justice, loving thy neighbor (of the right nationality of course), etc. The hydrogen bomb is nationalism taken to its logical conclusion, and it’s worth considering how that reflects on all of us.

As for the scientists involved, or the idea that this somehow represents science: if I could, I would spit on the men (and occasional woman) who were involved in these ventures. To think that this is a productive use of our knowledge or that somehow humans would be made more safe through the existence of planet-destroying weapons is twisted and grotesque.

American Propaganda! The First H Bomb Test is called a great achievement for science.

The first British H Bomb. Like the US, the British thought that small Pacific Island nations were totally worth ruining.

The Chinese have no love for the Uyghurs, which is why they used their region as a testing ground. And also why they killed a bunch of them recently.

Of course the USSR was very involved in the world wide stupidity and managed to contribute the largest bomb ever detonated.

Martin Luther King, Jr., speaking to his congregation in Montgomery, Alabama said:

I think the first reason that we should love our enemies…is this: that hate for hate only intensifies the existence of hate and evil in the universe. If I hit you and you hit me and I hit you back and you hit me back and go on, you see, that goes on ad infinitum. It just never ends. Somewhere somebody must have a little sense, and that’s the strong person. The strong person is the person who can cut off the chain of hate, the chain of evil… Somebody must have religion enough and morality enough to cut it off, and inject within the very structure of the universe that strong and powerful element of love. — “Loving Your Enemies” 17 November 1957

Watch me give a talk on cosmology! Video and slides are available using a flash or windows media presentation or mp3+PDF: Lost In The Observational Cosmology Lab. The talk was the inaugural lecture of Perimeter Institute‘s Young Researchers Symposium. I spoke to some grad students + 1 postdoc + 1 visiting Harvard professor/friend of mine about cosmology and some of the research I will be doing as part of my postdoctoral fellowship starting this fall.

While you’re checking out my talk, you can also look around at Perimeter’s publicly available talk archive, which has almost every talk that is given in the building!

This story is so disgusting and infuriating and why do people who do things like this exist?

Animal-rights activists aim protests at UCLA researchers’ children, blog says | L.A. NOW | Los Angeles Times.

So tonight, I’m gonna find a way to make it without you. Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
What you did to me was a crime. Cold case love . . . Your love was breaking the law, but I needed a witness.

The first line is from Alicia Keys’s “Sleeping with a Broken Heart” and the second Rihanna’s “Cold Case Love” (notably co-written with King Timberlake himself). These lines stick with me as I round out the end of February (and at this very moment, avoid doing the dishes). Why? Because they are so conclusive and so pained, and that’s kind of how things feel right now. In a few months I will be wrapping up my doctorate, and I now know, at least for now, my time in Canada. I’m going to be starting a NASA Postdoctoral Program Fellowship at Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, MD in September, a position I chose instead of one in Trieste, Italy after incredibly difficult deliberation.

In exchange for the effort I was rewarded by a rather nasty email from a member of my family that included lines like this:

Then of course you will be with people who are there for the money, with no consideration for the social implications of the identity they are undertaking. Is this really what you want to do? The latest US imperial move (aside from the wr in Afghanistan) is to begin to occupy Haiti, depriving it of the one remaining legacy of the revolution: its independence. Is that what you want to stand for? . . . Among many other influences, your boss and also your colleagues will expect your compliance, and you will soon expect that of yourself if you are not to ‘fail’.

I wrote a rather lengthy response at the insistence of my biological parents, who both felt that if I was going to do something productive with my fury, I should channel it into a clarification of what kind of person I am and what I stand for. I won’t get into the details of that because they don’t matter for what I want to say here. And I know that what I wrote wasn’t enough because I still can’t climb out from underneath the weight of an email that accuses me of being a follower, right to pulling the switch in the gas chamber. What I do want to say is that it will be a while before I can experience a sense of pride in what I have achieved, as a scientist who is a person of conscience, as a person who has always known that conscience must take precedence before science, and who hoped to encourage others to see it the same way.

This isn’t the first time in the last year or so that my integrity has been called into question. That seems to have been the theme of my life, whether it’s because of my professional decisions or my personal ones. I’ve been very lucky that along the way people insisted on retaining faith in me. Notably my mother. Narinda, who flew thousands of miles to get me through my qualifying exam. Ryan who began as a confidant who was also experiencing lost love and became an incredible best friend. The lovely Cantabrigians (02138) who hosted me, spent time with me and listened to me, repeatedly. Others here in Waterloo who made me welcome in their social circles, their homes and in one case, their church.

Last night, thinking over the email from my family member merged into thinking about the collapse of my marriage that slowly crept up and then seemed like a sudden explosion. However people may view the many mistakes and missteps I made, the unfair things I said and did, I am able to recall that underneath it, I was trying, at each step, to do right. Much like I try to do with my work. And I’ve learned that it’s not easy to figure out what those things are, and that people will try very hard to hurt you or leave you to suffer if they can’t understand your choices or trust your goals. I know my partner in that collapse, my ex-wife, has her own remorse to deal with, her own mistakes, her own version of pain. I know I have faith in her redeeming qualities, despite that, and I am glad that I do.

It’s heartbreaking to have the people closest to you accuse you of being willing to become complicit in murder. It’s also heartbreaking to make irreparable mistakes that injure others and live with others’ irreparable mistakes. These things are tangled in my mind, perhaps because in the end, like T.S. Eliot said, “What might have been and what has been/ Point to one end, which is always present.” Present and compassion. Present compassion. The question is are you a compassionate person? Well, for very few of us there is a constant answer to this question. More often it is complex, wavering with the ebb and tide of our ability to cope, our sensibilities and values. So the question that we must ask almost constantly is: am I a compassionate person in this moment?

And I would be lying, and so would most people, if I said yes every single time. But I know I’m trying. I was then. I am now.

I should be celebrating. But I can’t celebrate in the midst of the enormity of the perceived and actual failures of my character that have been thrown at me. I want the best for the people around me and even the people not immediately around me. Sometimes I go too far in my thinking about how to bring this about; more often than not, I get lost trying to balance the equation of fairness, equity and justice. But to think my goal is anything else . . . the fact of this thought, it weighs on heavily on me. And to think that in my confusion I would cross the line into assisting mass murder for the sake of my career? Well, that’s just as insane as the ideas that drive genocide itself.

Hopefully people can remember that I too want to be able look myself in the mirror in 20 years.