Disordered Cosmos http://disorderedcosmos.com Because the Universe is Confusing Fri, 31 Dec 2010 21:16:21 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 Hello. http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/12/31/hello/ http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/12/31/hello/#comments Fri, 31 Dec 2010 19:15:30 +0000 Chanda http://disorderedcosmos.com/?p=927

This is my old blog. You are probably looking for my website, which is cprescodweinstein.com. Please check it out for all relatively important things, like my science :-)

]]> http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/12/31/hello/feed/ 0 Bam! The Universe hanging by a thread! http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/12/15/bam-the-universe-hanging-by-a-thread/ http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/12/15/bam-the-universe-hanging-by-a-thread/#comments Wed, 15 Dec 2010 21:19:01 +0000 Chanda http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/12/15/bam-the-universe-hanging-by-a-thread/

Or dental floss. From my office ceiling.
Sent via BlackBerry

Posted via email from chanda’s (pre)posterous

]]> http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/12/15/bam-the-universe-hanging-by-a-thread/feed/ 0 A new book takes down Breast Cancer Awareness Month http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/10/30/a-new-book-takes-down-breast-cancer-awareness-month/ http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/10/30/a-new-book-takes-down-breast-cancer-awareness-month/#comments Sat, 30 Oct 2010 23:56:16 +0000 Chanda http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/10/30/a-new-book-takes-down-breast-cancer-awareness-month/

Sulik’s evidence is strong and disturbing. A woman now has a 1-in-8 chance of getting breast cancer in her lifetime. In 1975, the figure was 1-in 11. The risk of dying from the disease, upon diagnosis, decreased just .05 percent from 1990 to 2005. A woman with breast cancer today will be bombarded with many more treatments and spend a lot more than her grandmother might have on care, but she’ll have about the same chance of dying from the illness as women did 50 years ago.

via slate.com

So I know it’s been a while since I posted and there’s lots of things I need to write about etc, but this seemed particularly important. Spread the word because it’s an important one.

Posted via email from chanda’s (pre)posterous

]]> http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/10/30/a-new-book-takes-down-breast-cancer-awareness-month/feed/ 0 Hello Pacific http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/10/08/hello-pacific/ http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/10/08/hello-pacific/#comments Fri, 08 Oct 2010 20:07:28 +0000 Chanda http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/10/08/hello-pacific/

Home. Sent via BlackBerry

Posted via email from chanda’s (pre)posterous

]]> http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/10/08/hello-pacific/feed/ 0 Two people casually sitting on the railroad tracks . . . http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/18/two-people-casually-sitting-on-the-railroad-tracks/ http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/18/two-people-casually-sitting-on-the-railroad-tracks/#comments Sun, 19 Sep 2010 01:06:11 +0000 Chanda http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/18/two-people-casually-sitting-on-the-railroad-tracks/

via ourwindow.blogspot.com

That’s me. And that’s Ryan. You can figure out who is who, if you don’t already know. We recently got some photos taken because our friends are losers who never bring cameras to anything! So we didn’t have any pictures of just the two of us, sober. (haha) Didn’t Catherine do any amazing job? If you’re interested in her photography and you’re local to KW, drop me a line, and I’ll get you two in touch. In the meantime, follow the link for more pictures of us and our books (you’ll see!).

Posted via email from chanda’s (pre)posterous

]]> http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/18/two-people-casually-sitting-on-the-railroad-tracks/feed/ 0 A Lifetime In Spite Of Pain http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/15/a-lifetime-in-spite-of-pain/ http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/15/a-lifetime-in-spite-of-pain/#comments Wed, 15 Sep 2010 20:55:11 +0000 Chanda http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/15/a-lifetime-in-spite-of-pain/

Tears streamed from my eyes toward my ears as I sobbed, under my breath alternating between pleading, "pleasepleaseplease please" and devastated acknowledgement, "pain painpain pain." Eventually the sobs gave way to yells of terror, "THE PAIN GOD WHY THE PAIN?" Such was the scene at my apartment two nights ago, as my boyfriend looked on in helpless horror, holding my legs and hoping it would subside. 

"Do you remember when you took the last dose of ibuprofen? Can you take more?" I couldn't remember and didn't want to make mistakes. "What about taking some Tylenol now?" I was loathe to take more pain killers; I had convinced myself that I was doing everything right and shouldn't need them anymore.

"I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT YOU BASTARD WHY? I go to pilates, I do yoga, I go to physiotherapy, I get massage," the yelling gave way to defeated sobs. I stopped long enough to suggest that perhaps this was my fault. "That's ridiculous," Ryan retorted, but in my mind I was thinking, "if only I hadn't been racing Michael. If only I had seen the car."

In July 2002, I was hit by a car while biking from the Media Lab at MIT to my home in Mather House at Harvard. I was 19 and around 10 PM on July 25, 2002, I learned what my teeth look like while lying in a pool of blood on the ground. I learned what it meant to fight with paramedics about being secured on my side so that I wouldn't choke on my blood. I learned what it meant to be yelled at by an infection-anxious paramedic the whole way to the hospital. I learned what it meant to see in a mirror the left half of my jaw shoved into the right side of my face. I learned how to stay awake for 36 hours and to fight with my family on the phone who wanted me to reject an absolutely necessary reconstructive surgery.

But it would be years before I truly understood what is going to be a life-long lesson: how to live with chronic pain. At first I thought the upsetting stuff was not being able to eat solid food for two months. Being afraid to get on a bike again. But that's not the scary stuff. The scary stuff is getting life-threatening bone infections thanks to the screws in my mouth. Eating with 10 fractured teeth completely exposed for over a year. Eventually needing not one, not two but three root canals. The way the reconstruction altered the bite in my mouth, eventually leading to debilitating back, shoulder and neck problems.

Which brings us to September 2010. For the last 8 years, the prospect of eating hasn't just been about satiating hunger. It's been about considering how much my jaw joint and teeth will hurt after the meal. For the last two it's been about how much time I want to spend removing that meal from my braces — when I could stomach the idea of putting my teeth through solid food at all. For the last 5 years, I have gone to physiotherapy regularly, fighting off knee problems, a moderate-to-severe bulging disc in my back, excruciating shoulder pain, waking up morning after morning and not being able to turn my head left or right without incredible effort. In the last 6 months, I've had a root canal retreatment that took 2 months to handle, about 10 x-rays of my head, and at least 6 trips to the dentist.

For me, keeping my calories and nutrition up is a daily struggle. In the last few months, as my orthodontic treatment accelerated and #16 struggled endontically — yes, I refer to my teeth by numbers now — my body succumbed to a mystery illness that I only recently discovered is reasonably responsive to regular, high doses of Vitamin B complex. The illness affected my ability to think straight, and I spent days, weeks and months staring at the ceiling, at my computer screen, willing it to do basic computations like remembering words, remembering how to do algebra, remembering how to be the near-PhD in physics that I supposedly was.

As of last week I am Dr. Prescod-Weinstein, but it hasn't been easy. And not because physics is hard. That was probably the easiest part. The hard part was fighting through the pain, the medical appointments, the pain killers, the tears, the bad memories and the neurotic anxieties to focus on doing physics. The hard part was standing for two and a half hours during my defense last week and needing to force my back to crack in the middle so I could focus on the examiners' questions. The hard part was and continues to be learning to love this struggling body, learning to care for it, learning not to hate it for having to struggle.

Most people don't realize when they see me or talk to me that it is likely that I am in pain. Very few have seen me let my guard down to cry out to a God I probably don't even in believe in because I have nothing else to scream at. But even when I am not paying attention to it, I am in pain. Those are the good days. The hard days are the ones where I have no choice but to pay attention, when I must stay stationary on a couch or in a bed with an ice pack, a steady supply of ibuprofen and acetaminophen, knowing that I will be unable to get any real work done. The hard part is, at 28, knowing I will have days like that for the rest of my life, and I can't control when they will happen. 

Few people understand the prospect of a lifetime of painful eating, of constantly monitoring potentially cracking crowns, onlays and fillings. It's nuts when you're eating sushi and a significant portion of your tooth comes off in the middle of the meal, believe me. While I am thankful that more people aren't suffering, sometimes it's hard to suffer alone. This week is National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week, and I am grateful to know that I am not the only survivor. I am also grateful to be reminded that I have a right to share this story, to not suffer in silence. If someone you know is in pain, let them know you're thinking of them, thinking of their struggle and grateful that they choose to persist despite it all. Chances are, you will totally make their day.

To the people who helped me get to hospitals, to root canal appointments, to periodontic surgeries. To the people who fed me and dressed me when I couldn't do it myself and moved my boxes and furniture because my body couldn't stand me doing it. To the people who made phone calls or sent emails and instant messages to distract me. To people who cleaned up my post-operative puke and held my hand while I cried.  Thank you for helping me recover life, in spite of the pain.

Posted via email from chanda’s (pre)posterous

]]> http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/15/a-lifetime-in-spite-of-pain/feed/ 1 I can haz phd? http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/09/i-can-haz-phd/ http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/09/i-can-haz-phd/#comments Thu, 09 Sep 2010 18:03:57 +0000 Chanda http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/09/i-can-haz-phd/

Si se puede!
Sent from my YummyBerry!

Posted via email from chanda’s (pre)posterous

]]> http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/09/i-can-haz-phd/feed/ 0 Scottish Musicians Stand Up for Mental Health http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/06/scottish-musicians-stand-up-for-mental-health/ http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/06/scottish-musicians-stand-up-for-mental-health/#comments Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:40:15 +0000 Chanda http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/06/scottish-musicians-stand-up-for-mental-health/

The Fruit Tree’s first project sees some of Scotland’s finest and most exciting musicians from the indie and folk scene come together to produce an album of collaborative new songs exploring mental health and well-being.

via fruittreefoundation.com

Posted via email from chanda’s (pre)posterous

]]> http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/06/scottish-musicians-stand-up-for-mental-health/feed/ 0 Vector » Cosmology on the Beach Winter School! http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/01/vector-%c2%bb-cosmology-on-the-beach-winter-school/ http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/01/vector-%c2%bb-cosmology-on-the-beach-winter-school/#comments Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:28:26 +0000 Chanda http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/01/vector-%c2%bb-cosmology-on-the-beach-winter-school/

Cosmology on the Beach! September 1, 2010

Posted by The Quantum Cosmos in : Astronomy and Astrophysics (ASTRO), Cosmology, Gravitation, and Relativity (CGR), Mathematical and Computational Physics (MCP), Nuclear and Particle Physics (NPP) , trackback , edit post

Applications are now open for the Essential Cosmology for the Next Generation (aka Cosmology on the Beach) winter school/research conference! The organizers strongly encourage a diverse group of advanced graduate students and postdoc to participate. Instructors include NSBP member Edmund Bertschinger of MIT’s Department of Physics. Here is the full announcement:

ESSENTIAL COSMOLOGY FOR THE NEXT GENERATION
(also known as Cosmology on the Beach)

January 10−14, 2011 in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

The Conference website and Participant Application form is now available at the Berkeley Center for Cosmological Physics website.

This meeting is the 3rd annual edition, following the very successful and popular 2009 and 2010 conferences. It is a combination of winter school and research conference, with course lectures, blended with recent research advances in plenary talks, and student/postdoc participation. We encourage a diverse group of advanced graduate students and postdocs interested in attending to apply. The deadline for application is OCTOBER 15, 2010.

LECTURE COURSES:
Ed Bertschinger, Gravity on Cosmic Scales
Neal Katz, Galaxy Formation
Mark Trodden, Particle Physics, LHC, and Cosmology
Licia Verde, Statistical and Numerical Methods in Cosmology
Martin White, Nonlinear Structure in the Universe

HOT RESEARCH TALKS:
to be announced

Organized by the Berkeley Center for Cosmological Physics and Instituto Avanzado de Cosmologia, Mexico.

–>

Tags:

Comments»

no comments yet – be the first?

via blogs.nsbp.org

Posted via email from chanda’s (pre)posterous

]]> http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/01/vector-%c2%bb-cosmology-on-the-beach-winter-school/feed/ 0 First African School of Physics empowers students http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/01/first-african-school-of-physics-empowers-students/ http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/01/first-african-school-of-physics-empowers-students/#comments Wed, 01 Sep 2010 14:47:54 +0000 Chanda http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/01/first-african-school-of-physics-empowers-students/

via symmetrymagazine.org

The National Society of Black Physicists was pleased to support this endeavor and pleased that the organizers understood that NSBP can bring useful information to the table. Hopefully other organizers of physics/mathematics efforts in Africa will see fit to involve the largest organization of Black physicists on the planet at some point too. And also, hopefully, one day the African Physical Society will be just as big if not bigger than NSBP!

Posted via email from chanda’s (pre)posterous

]]> http://disorderedcosmos.com/2010/09/01/first-african-school-of-physics-empowers-students/feed/ 0